** Small disclaimer, I might happen to vent a little in this post so if you don't want to read it then don't!
Before I say anything I want to make it clear that I realize we are living many peoples dream and we have been given the opportunity of a life time. Unfortunately my emotions haven't caught up with my brain.
Lets be completely honest, culture shock SUCKS.....................................
I hate the fact that I can't talk to anyone, and that I have no friends out here.
I hate the fact that going to town is to exhausting and so overwhelming I can barely breath.
I hate that the food is different.
I hate that I find a place to teach for the summer and all anyone wants is Pilates, they don't want to change and to top it off I was told by a member that I am not good at my job and they don't want me to teach them.......... screw you! Oh, I am still teach.......my way!
I hate more then anything that we fight as a family, the kids are constantly either fighting ( mostly physically) or crying ALL THE TIME ! My temper is short and it doesn't make life fun!
I feel like I am an intruder in a place that is supposed to be my home, I feel like I don't belong! So if I don't belong here and I have no home or possessions in Calgary....... where do I belong?
There is so much more to this story but I HATE complaining on the blog so I am going to leave it at this!
I know everyone says it is going to get better......really when?
Sometimes I feel like I could scream, but a GREAT combat class might help ( which won't be happening anytime soon).
I do realize it will get better but it blows chunks right now! It is so hard to live in a beautiful place and have a hard time enjoying it!
Okay, now I am done.............. got to say you guys rock at listening!
back to the regularly scheduled post!
13 comments:
Crank up the tunes and do some BodyCombat in your living room. It'll make you feel human (not alien).
Blast some Pink, and rock out the body combat Mel, then you'll feel better. Giving you a {{{{{big hug}}}}}} right now......can you feel it ?!?!?!? I'm squeezing hard!!
I like Erin's idea. Workout and sweat, even though that takes only getting dressed from what you've written :) It's great to vent. You should. I feel for you. It must be so hard to try to hold the family together. But you have your family. You're home is your family and in your heart. It's just the crazy world we have to adapt to wherever you may be. Maybe accept you are an alien, white girl in black continent. Find some joys, whatever they may be either big or small and enjoy them. Mmmm, yummy fruit salad. You're strong. You're adventurous, and yes, you're living our dreams. But those are dreams where we don't know the reality. Keep your head up, use your connections as much as possible to Calgary, and enjoy being an alien. You'll make it through the storm.
Thanks for the encouragement, it does my heart a little good to hear!
Erin, you are right! Crank the tunage and bust some Combat out in my living room.
Anita, Pink is the one thing that has given me a little sanity. Cranked loud with me singing along and worrying our house
keeper!
Watch out for the crazy white lady!
Mel, you are LOVED, strong and courageous. Focus on your gratitude and leave the rest at the door. What you focus on expands...oxox kari
So hard... im sorry :( - will be praying for you and your sweet family.. I cant imagine... praying you find some locals you can connect with too and become great friends with!
Hey sweet pea!! I just want you to know that we miss you sooooo much!! I know it would be soo hard, and give you props for being so strong.
You are a hard core, hard ass chick and never forget that!!! You are one of the best instructors that I have ever met, never forget that!!
Hang in there sweetheart and know that you have pieces of peoples heart here in Calgary and I love and miss you.
XOXOXO
Amanda
Thanks all for the support! I truly appreciate it.
Keep checking the blog to see if the white lady goes crazy.... you never know! :)
not sure if you remember me. we met years back at BCBC (maybe "met" is a stretch, but that's the connection anyway) i've been happily lurking on your blog since i found it a week ago, happy to be a silent observer, getting a bit of an "africa fix" if you will. but i can relate with this post so very, very, VERY much that i couldn't help but comment! i spent 4 months in zimbabwe which is where i can relate to the "africa stuff" and the "culture shock stuff" ...and i currently live in germany and my first months here is the part where i can relate to the "where is my home?" "i want a friend who doesn't live in a different timezone" and "i just want to speak english with someone" stuff! long story short? it gets better!!! language barriers decrease, true friendships do form, and believe it or not you'll probably fall in love with some of the food! at least that's the way it was for me in both africa and europe.
(published mt comment too soon!)
you have the added aspect of raising a family there and so i just give you three cheers for having the courage to make this big change and wish you all the best!
Hey Mel...reading this post reminded me so much of the first months after we moved to Mexico. And I know you have had people say it will get better...and from experience I can honestly say it will...but it does take time. It took us 1 full year to fully like living in the new culture/language. I pray for you guys that you'll be content there sooner than it took for us.
I'm COMING!!!!! Sometime this fall Lord willing... and when I do come there to get my babies, I would LOVE to meet your family and see you and TALK TALK TALK as long as you like. I'll even give you a haircut if you want and take some photos of your family... whatever you need! I'm praying for you! I'm so proud of you! And I can't wait to meet you if you're up to it! :)
Post a Comment